Big Smile

Its funny what its like to actually be lonely, not feel it, but be it.

Constantly trying to stop myself from 'numbing my brain' (code NMB) and do something productive.

I just want to destroy myself and I know that the ultimate end isnt an option so i am trying to destroy myself in another ways.

Equally, I want everything back to normal. So its like I am NMB to cover up me wrecking my life, but NMB might be contributing to the 'wrecking' part.

It like some kind of waiting game.